February 25, 2016

Conflict marriage

Conflict is common to all marriages. It is normal for couples to quarrel from time to time. Moreover, these disagreements can ideally bring a couple closer together if the right approach is used to handle the conflict. If not, this can lead to isolation, fights, grudges, bitterness, hatred and divorce. These are 5 tips to solve unpleasant marital conflicts:

  1. Understand and know your differences – Human beings are imperfect. One reason we have conflict in marriages is that opposites often attract. An introvert marrying an extrovert is a typical example. This causes revolting and arguing over small irritations or philosophical differences in handling finances or raising children. Our different backgrounds and personalities usually contributes to this. It’s important to know, understand and accept the difference in your partner and balance it with yours.


  1. Forgiveness is key – It is typical for conflicts to arise in marriage, regardless of the affection between couples. There will be moments you can’t please your partner and this could hurt you. However, forgiveness is the crucial key and relief to solve conflicts in marriages. It is the key to maintain a long lasting, happy and intimate marriage. Forgiving your partner makes you give up revenge, resentment, unhappiness and rather promote peace, love and unity.


  1. Choose your words wisely – An old couple who have spent over 50 years in marriage in the Western part of Nigeria were recently asked how they have resolved conflicts over the years and the husband replies, “When angry, I don’t talk”. Being able to control your choice of words when angry with your partner is something that couples find difficult to do. Choose your words wisely or rather try to keep quiet. Insulting your partner when angry will rather aggravate the situation and increase the hurts. The harsh, cruel words you use on your partner can’t be taken back after being uttered, if not handled properly, it can cause wounds for years and destroy his or her self-esteem and affection for each other.


  1. Shun Pride and be willing to say the Golden word -When conflict arises in marriage, it is very ideal to bury our egos and pride. One or both parties should learn to stoop and be willing to say the golden word “I Am Sorry”. This 3 letter word is so powerful and compared to using an extinguisher to quench a raging fire. Forget personal principles, rather than argue on who is right or wrong, be matured and humble to apologize for your faults and offences and move on.


  1. Prayer – Prayer is the master key. God is the one who instituted marriage and is interested to see our marriages prosper. God is able to change any partner regardless of their weakness. Rather than wallow in worry or seeking wrong advice from wrong counsellors, turn to God in prayer and He will change the circumstances and help you to solve the conflict in His own desirable and befitting way.


Are you currently having an unpleasant marital conflict? Worry no more, use these 5 tips and everything will be resolved! Do you have any contribution?  Please share it below with other married women in the Diamond Community…


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